you’re how old now?

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my darling marlow, where has the time gone? you are four months old today and i simply cannot fathom that fact; it feels both like you have always been with us, yet also like you were just born yesterday.

in these past months I have watched you grow and begin to blossom. as you turn four months you have become such a little giggler, finding thatcher’s constant harassment of you wildly amusing, you never stop smiling, you have found your voice and are quite enjoying using it to make loud high-pitched squarks, you are trying desperately to sit up, you have big deep blue eyes and you have two little teeth working their darnedest to make an appearance (as I’m exceptionally slack and writing this retrospectively, i can confirm that your first tooth popped through on the 5th of november and your second on the 12th).

i have loved spending these past four months with you and i can’t wait to see what you do next.

xxx

goodbye mummy

today was by far the hardest day of my life so far. today was the day I buried my beautiful mother.

for nine months she battled and fought against an insidious disease which slowly poisoned her blood and destroyed her body. it must have broken her heart these past six weeks to sit by and watch her sweet baby granddaughters come into the world and to not be able to be the hands on grandmother she wanted to be. when thatcher was born, she was right there with me the whole time. when I came home from hospital, there she was looking after us and cuddling him every minute of every day. and i know that that is what she wanted to do for izzy and marlow, but she just couldn’t; her body failed her and she hated it.

mum lived for her family. we were the centre of her universe and she was there for us whenever we needed her, no matter the time of day (or night) or the size of the problem at hand. for this, you were and will always be loved by many. i promise that you will always be a strong presence in the lives of my children and I just hope that I can be as good of a mother as you were.

as hard as today was for all of us i know that you left us in the best way you possibly could have – quickly, quietly and peacefully in bed next to the love of your life. you left the world with the same dignity and grace with which you lived your life and for that i am grateful.

your passing shocked me and i made rod repeat himself three times before i would let myself believe that you were actually gone; i mean, i’d only seen you the night before! i will always treasure that last night i spent with you and especially the way thatcher took himself up to see you in bed before we left to give you a kiss and gently wish you ‘night night Nanni’ and then the way as he left your room he turned back towards the door and said ‘i love you Nanni. i love you Nanni.’ (one of these days I will actually be able to get through that story without bursting into tears).

you were a very very special woman and will be missed by many.

so mum, in your honour, after complaining that you made us the same chocolate cake in our school lunches everyday for twelve years, when it came to catering for today there was only one thing all four of us kids wanted – your boiled chocolate cake. mine definitely wasn’t as good as yours and I don’t think it ever will be, but with at least twelve years of practice ahead of me, making it for thatch and marlow’s school lunches, hopefully one day i’ll get close.

i love you mummy. i pray that now you are no longer burdened by your body and are free to do everything you want to. and don’t worry, we will look after dad for you. xx

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happy birthday thatcher boy

happy second birthday my darling boy. you bring fun and joy to my life everyday. i am so proud of you and i love that i get to call myself your mother.

never wipe that beautiful smile of your face. never stop laughing, dancing, singing and loving life. i love you and i can’t believe it has been two whole years already.

all my love

mummy xx

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happy birthday

i cannot believe it has been a whole year since I started this little blog. i may still be finding my feet and working out exactly what it is, but in the meantime i am loving the opportunity it gives me to document the life of our little family and the adventures of my beautiful little boy who keeps growing and learning and getting more and more fun by the day. it maybe also gives me something to do at 4am when the pregnancy insomnia kicks in. big love and thanks for following along on this little journey xx.

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tomorrow, tomorrow

… we find out tomorrow, what gender this new baby will be (must be sung to the tune of the song from ‘annie’ – am I showing my age here?!?)

for those who don’t know, our little family of 3 is about to become a family of 4. yay! and for me, tomorrow is the most exciting day of the whole pregnancy – our 19 week scan, aka ‘the is it a boy or a girl’ scan!!! when this time came around during my first pregnancy we had planned a big extravagant gender reveal party surrounded by our family and friends. we all found out we were expecting a blue bundle when rod and I cut into the cake made by a local baker and saw the bright blue icing inside.

we are definitely not going so all-out this time around, but it is going to be just as special all the same. just a little moment for us to share between our posse of three. i am super excited to take thatcher with us tomorrow morning to meet his little sibling. he is still too young to really understand what is going on, but he knows the ultrasound picture on the fridge is his baby, so it’ll be nice for him to see his baby moving around.

aaaahhhh, i’m so excited i don’t think i will be able to sleep tonight; the suspense is killing me. will I be painting the nursery blue or pink? will I be buying t-shirts or tu-tus? will i be reading the girls names chapter of the book or the boys names chapter? who really cares though, as long as it’s happy, right? i just can’t wait to see T as a big brother. he is going to be so good at it.

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PS. I just want to take this opportunity to apologise for the lack of quality photography lately. the iMac is on the fritz, so I’m stuck taking and editing photos on the iPhone.

happy anniversary

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five years! holy cow, where has the time gone?!? we have been through a lot in these last few years – we started a family, we bought a house (and sold a house and bought a house and sold a house and bought a house), we adopted alfie, we have seen europe and new york and we have made a life together. we may not be as youthful (and hairy) as we were five years ago and our priorities may have changed, but i wouldn’t give up the last five years for anything. and besides, i’m pretty sure that this year coming is going to be the best one ever.

uncle b’s wedding: take 2

if you’ve been following along with us for a little while now, you’ll know that back in july last year one of my brother’s got married in a gorgeously intimate ceremony at his wife’s family farm in denmark, wa. you can see the pictures here.

as it was such a tiny ceremony, they decided to through a giant celebration with all of their friends and extended family this past weekend. the party was at the same place as the wedding ceremony and it was just as beautiful in the height of summer (albeit a little browner) as it was in the middle of winter.

thanks for letting our little family share these special moments with you, blair and alysha. xxx

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^^my two favourite people^^

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^^i finally got rod in a pair of chinos – and doesn’t he look smokin’^^

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^^uncle k and his mini-me, complete with matching bow tie and suspenders^^

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^^peek-a-boo. thanks for keeping me entertained baby boy^^