if you want something done right, do it yourself

dear mother,

please be aware that your poor standard of housekeeping has not gone unnoticed. you may think you mopped the floor this morning, but I beg to differ. it was filthy!

i therefore took it upon myself to do the job properly and clean up after you. please note that I am in no way happy about having to do this – i have much more important things I could be doing with my time like eating sultanas, watching chuggington or hiding all of your valuable items (do you think the remote control just disappears on its own)…

you have been warned.

yours sincerely,

T. xxx